678.

That was my score on my third –and final– attempt at Microsoft Exam 70-291. Since a passing score is 700, this means that:

• a) I obviously didn’t pass
• b) In all likelihood I missed it by one single question.

I think it is time I just moved on with my life.

I was determined to take the test, even though I had long ago decided that I didn’t *ever* want a job in which I actually was responsible for a large-scale network, because it was the last exam towards an MCSA title, and because I felt like I needed to ‘buck up’ and try to finish what I started. I have a long history of avoiding things that I struggle with. Many things come very easily to me and when I run into something that doesn’t, I don’t deal well with failure. My usual approach is to avoid things that I am not good at — like math — shutting the door on a lot of things I could have done/been in the process.  So while part of the reason for trying to pass the exam was a bit of foolish pride (wanting to have that impressive-sounding certification that I had no intention of using anyway) a big part of it, I guess, was that it symbolized all the things I have given up on in my life. For once, I wanted to stay and fight my way through to the other side.

I am not going to take the test again, not any time in the foreseeable future, anyway, and I don’t think that is giving up, at this point. I tried three times and gave it my best. I have spent the bulk of the past three months (yeah, that’s why no blog entries, web updates, etc.) studying for this test, worrying over it, reading book after book, and cramming, all the while worrying even more and stressing because other things — IMPORTANT things — got shoved to the back burner "until I am finished with this test." Why keep throwing myself at a wall that I am not even interested in climbing when there is so much more out there for me? I’ve got a mountain of ‘to-dos’ at work, everything from our clinic’s web site to building the new forms and documents we need. All tasks that I am good at, enjoy doing, and will benefit the clinic by doing. And then there’s the fact that we moved back here to enjoy all the things we missed about NC, and we haven’t actually had time for any of them. We haven’t even made it up to the Blue Ridge Parkway yet.

I am proud of what I have accomplished, even if it didn’t result in a passing grade. Subnetting, which terrified and bedevilled me so badly (and I still don’t like it <g>) is no longer my weak spot, in fact I aced the IP addressing part of the test. I also did real well on the DNS area, another former weak spot, and I have learned a lot of concepts that will be very useful to me in my current job.  I did my best, and everything I have learned along the way (not just talking about this test but the A+, Network+, and 3 MCPs that I *did* pass) helped get me where I am today — which is somewhere I *want* to be. So maybe I should just be happy with that and close the book on this one?