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Maybe we should get a trampoline?

Or then again, perhaps in our household, that money would be better spent on a few more comfortable armchairs in the living room…

I love spiders, but probably would have done the same thing

(There’s advertising at the end of the clip and I couldn’t find a way to disable it, sorry.)

On a lighter note…

pun intended.

A good example of why we don’t have a tree

funny pictures of cats with captions

Things That Go Bump

Back in the spring of 1998, I moved into a little trailer up in the hills in Fletcher, NC. It was the very first time in my life I had been entirely on my own, and the first night I stayed there I brought a load of boxes and an air mattress, planning to go shopping for furniture in the morning. I had left my two Chihuahuas with my roommates (being Chihuahuas, they would have been utterly horrified by the lack of furniture) and brought only Lilly the Pit Bull with me, for company. After a quick trip out for some groceries, I began unpacking and situating things as best I could, but the lack of furniture made this a bit problematic; I had my speakers and stereo, but no shelf to put the stereo on, my computer, but no desk, and so forth. Finally, I gave up on the boxes, inflated the air mattress, and prepared to settle in for the night.

After being accustomed to living with five dogs, a bird, and three roommates, the trailer seemed deafeningly silent. I only had one small table lamp, which I’d plugged in and set on the floor in a corner, and the stacked boxes that filled the room cast eerie shadows on the walls. The whole effect was rather creepy, and as I arranged the blankets on my makeshift bed, I thought to myself that I was probably not going to get much sleep that night.

Suddenly, the room erupted in chaos! There was an anguished, guttural squeal, followed by a loud crash as one of the big wooden speakers toppled over on its side, then thrashing and scuffling from behind the boxes. I just about jumped out of my skin, convinced some sort of siege was under way. Obviously, the calamity involved Lilly somehow (her trademark shriek had given that part away) and I peered warily around the boxes, convinced that either (a) some wild animal/monster/serial killer had gotten into the trailer and attacked her or (b) she was having her first ever epileptic seizure.

I crept closer… part of Lilly’s wildly spasming body came into view in the semidarkness, then crashed back out of sight. More boxes fell. I could hear gasps and shrill whiny moans of frustration and effort. What the bloody heck was going on back there?! I felt along the wall and finally found the switch for the overhead light and flipped it on, heart hammering, then I peeked around the stack of boxes…

— and came upon my idiot dog locked in mortal combat with the two-foot rubber rat I had inadvertently stood on top of the speaker earlier while unpacking. Lilly had a deep animosity towards Halloween decorations and any sort of rubber toys, which has been discussed previously on this blog, and this particular item had been at the top of her death list for some time, but prior to this point, had resided at the top of a bookshelf above her line of sight and had thus escaped massacre. I separated psycho dog and her nemesis and stuffed the surprisingly undamaged giant rat into a kitchen cabinet. My nerves were shot, and as I’d predicted, I didn’t get much sleep that night.

The two foot, reared up and snarling, red eyed, foam rubber rat went on to have an uneventful life, once again perched high atop a bookcase, until we moved to Arizona. Then it found itself on top of a stack of boxes in a shed in the backyard while we got settled. The box was apparently not quite out of Lilly’s reach, and one day we forgot to close the shed door. After letting Lilly, Lindsy, Mouse and Igor out for a pee, only the latter three returned to the house a short while later. I found Lilly at the rear of the yard, looking triumphant and surrounded by a veritable snowstorm of tiny chunks and shreds of black foam rubber. I wondered, not for the first time or the last, if perhaps my next pet should be a turtle.


Above: Lilly with her kitten Wednesday. I figured I should probably include this picture to show that Lilly really was a sweet dog, to most anything that didn’t fall into the rubber Halloween toy or large bug category. She was actually even terrified of a five pound declawed Persian cat named Ripley.